So last night Alia was up from 11:30 pm to 3 am. This is definetely not normal for her, so I feel like I'm a bit of a wuss about it... I like my 8 hours of sleep, let's just put it that way!
I have no idea what the drama was about... gas, teething, or just a Goldfish craving... only Ali knows and she's not telling. I've realized that it's not so much the being up part that is frustrating, it's the disappointment of hearing her cry, again, after being in bed for 3 minutes.
My best didn't come out last night. I was plain mad. At Jon for snoring while I'm up (although in his defence he did get up a few times too), at the computer for not turning on when browsing would have been fun about then, and at this babe for not closing those sweet eyes of hers. And yes, I was mad at myself too. Why can't I be the patient, gentle, soothing mother when the night stars blaze? Or just half the time... I would take that even!
It's mornings like this that I feel like such a bad mom... and it's not a lovely feeling. Last night, as I was complaining to God about a whole host of things, I remembered that each day is a new day. AAHHHH! That's music for my soul and for my sanity. I am so encouraged by that fact!
So instead of fuming and rocking harder by the hour, Alia and I had a little tea party. Okay... there was no tea, at all... but we whipped out the sippy cup, Goldfish, and Cheez-its. I figured we both deserved a break. So we rocked away by the glow of the night light and nibbled to our hearts content. As a result we both went to bed happier (though I was a bit guilty for eating in the middle of the night!).
This morn Alia work up with a bright smile and squeals of delight... it's amazing how quickly I can forget the frustration in the light of a beautiful smile!
Aw, Renee. I loved this post. You give me hope for the time (if it comes) when I'm a mother. I'll remember this... the frustration, the "tea" party, and the new-ness of each morning, and the light of a beautiful smile. Thanks so much for sharing.
ReplyDelete