Saturday, August 29, 2009

It has to go up from here...

Gracious, this has been a hard week for me. I'll just be honest. I have cried more, felt more stressed, and been more emotional than I have been in a long, long time!

The reality that I am back in Manitoba has sunk in. We've done TONS of traveling this summer... which is great... but now we're back. And I'm restless again. Once again I struggle with the fact that Manitoba has NEVER felt like home. Ever. I have been begging God to just tell me if I'm called here or not. Tell me what He wants me to do here. And just give me some sort of peace about where we are right now.

It's not even that I think moving back to Ohio would be the cure all... I'm not that naive, but I just want to feel like this is where I belong. That this is my home. The thing is, I love Manitoba - we're 5 minutes from the lake, 15 minutes from the valley, the people are friendly here, life is slower paced, yadi yadi yada. But people are what make a home, not geographical location. And yes... I have friends here, some pretty wonderful ones, but for some reason the lack of family seems to be a big deal to me.

Jon has been amazing. He's let me rest more (which I have definitely been needing... I've been WAY more tired with this babe!), let me vent, let me be crabby, and has been supportive in anyway he can. And I'm so thankful for him... but I still want to get down to the root of this issue and move on.

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